Q: My 8 – year old child has started lying to me. What should I do?
A: Most children experiment with various behaviour in their growing up period. It is advisable to respond appropriately to the child i.e. neither ignore nor overreact to the situation. When the child tells a lie, sit and explain to the child why lying doesn’t help rather than being punitive about it.

In such situations, depending upon the age of the child, token economy can be tried. Here the child should be rewarded for every good behaviour and punished for bad behaviour. This reward and punishment should be proportionate to the event and consistent over time.

Q: I have recently found my 10-year-old child stealing a few things from the house. How do I deal with it?
A: First and foremost, you must understand that there are various reasons for stealing. The child may steal because his/her legitimate demands are not fulfilled. Another reason might be that he/she saw someone else doing it or may even steal to seek attention. The worst scenario would be when the child needs additional funds for drug abuse or sex.

One can deal with such a situation by use of token economy and a one - to – one discussion with the child. Parents should be persuasively firm and not aggressively firm.

It is also important to find out if your child has a nasty acquaintance that persuades or provokes the child to do such things. It is important to wean the child off this acquaintance instead of criticizing that nasty person by keeping the child busy in other activities. Parents should be vigilant and the parent – child bond has to be maintained strong.

Q: My child came home from school all hurt and bruised. On questioning him, I found out that some bully in school had beaten him up. What should I do?
A: First step would be why your child was beaten up: -

• Did he instigate the bully?
• Who beat him up?
• How did your child react to the beating up?

Parenting involves preparing the child to accept defeats in life. In most instances, defeats are intellectual, financial or emotional. Prepare the child to fend for himself at school and inform the school authorities of suspicion of hooliganism.

In order to prevent such an incident from occurring again, tell your child to prepare a strategy where he doesn’t encounter the bully and also to learn to fend for himself.



Last updated on 01-03-2007