Q. My daughter is not anorexic or bulimic because she is 175 pounds and 5'5" at age 14. I keep the house free of junk foods, but suspect she is eating in secret. She eats low fat meals, avoids sauces and fried foods at restaurants, and plays basketball after school three times a week. If this isn't an eating disorder, could it be another kind of disorder?
   It is important to understand that weight is not a defining factor in whether or not an eating disorder exists, and that the emotional issues and attitudes that underlie dysfunctional behaviors such as junk food bingeing or secret eating may be of greater significance even than the physical affects of disease. You might consider getting therapeutic help for your daughter to discover and resolve relevant emotional issues underlying her problem that are separate from and/or including food. Your daughter may have a propensity towards eating dysfunction and if so, now is the time to prevent these from occurring.
  Particularly when there may be problems involving overweight and overeating, it is critical to establish a healthy eating and exercise lifestyle; it sounds like you are in the right direction with your daughter. Be sure to keep in mind that healthy eating is not restrictive eating. For your daughter, healthy eating might not entail eating less, but rather eating differently (filling up on more nutritionally dense foods.)
  Scientific evidence is increasingly pointing to genetics and brain chemistry as being the most highly significant determinants in how the body metabolizes fat. In many instances, the goal is not to wage a war with one's body, but to learn to accept and appreciate it as it is.

Here are a few questions that pertain specifically to eating disorders.

Q: "If my eating disordered child knows that what she is doing is harmful, why can't she simply stop doing it?"
  There is nothing simple and straightforward about dealing with or eradicating eating disorders. Your child may not even believe that she has a disorder, nor does she feel comfortable considering the option of living without what may have become her chief and most reliable coping tool. In many instances, eating disorders give a person the feeling that they have never looked better, and in many instances, they create a sense of mastery and achievement. They represent the only disease I can think of, short of substance abuse, where recovery feels worse and requires more courage than being sick. Most sufferers don't want to give up their disorder; they are frightened of facing the world without this "crutch."
   Be aware that the eating disordered attitude, mind-set and behaviors develop over time and through life stages, in many instances, becoming as deeply ingrained as addictions. The underlying emotional issues and concerns that drive them are long in coming; they are not to be eradicated quickly or easily.

Last updated on 04-05-2002