My stepson came to live with my husband and me last week. He is 8yrs old. His mother says she cannot handle him anymore. I don't want to say he is bad but he is in trouble all the time- at home, at school. Anywhere he goes the kids don't want to play with him. Last weekend at a party (I have two boys from another man - 12 & 13) he spit in both of my children faces so my son spit on him and hit him. I know it was not right for my son to hit or spit on him but he did spit on both of my boys. All my husband says “oh he is just a boy”. There is always a reason for this kid's behavior. He has been enrolled at a new school for 5 days. Now the teacher has called us to and removed him from the class. Last night he was throwing pool balls around because he was mad. The kid has been kicked out of after school programs for hitting, kicking, pushing other students and lying. They did not let him eat, play or sit with the other kids in class. I am really trying to be there but my husband feels his son can hit my kids and mine are not to put a hand on him because of the age group. So to avoid any problems I tell my kids not to play with him. No kids in the neighborhood want to play with him. His father makes the kids play with him. I see him as being a very angry child. My husband blames his mother for how he acts. The boy is smart. He plays his father against his mother. He tells his dad he hates his mom. She does not love him, she is lazy, she is mean and he allows him to talk about her that way. He cannot go one day without getting into trouble - hitting, kicking, pushing, and lying about anything small or big. My husband does not want to admit there is a problem with him. I think he feels if something is wrong he is a bad parent. How can I get him to get help before it breaks us up or this kid ends up really hurting someone or himself? Our house has turned into a battle field every night. There is a 2-3 hour discussion over what he did wrong and my kids are being left out. I have to sit in or he will play his dad and get out of trouble by saying” oh I'm just bad I can't do anything right” and his dad feels bad so it goes from discipline to holding, laughing and playing. And poor me.. Someone please help...
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